I'm so exhausted

My son is two and permanently on the go. I’m exhausted and none of the local play groups will take him until he’s six months older – I’ll be dead by then!

There must be some active way of keeping toddlers like him going, surely - how do other mothers cope? - DD

Fiona says: It’s worth contacting your local health visitor or social services to see if there isn’t something you’ve missed.

There are probably a number of groups where you could go along with your son that would help to keep him occupied.

If there isn’t, consider setting something up yourself – a card in a local shop window might attract other mums in a similar position and perhaps you could meet in one another’s homes?

Organisations like the National Childbirth Trust (www.nct.org.uk) run groups like “Bumps and Babies” and tea parties where you could make friends while your son is having fun with others.

If it does all get too exhausting, speak to your doctor who may be able to help if you are run down.

Why doesn't he want me?

My husband seems to have gone off sex completely and I feel terribly rejected.

He says there is nothing wrong and that he’s simply just getting “past it”, but he’s only 55 and I’ve heard of plenty of men making love when they’re much older than that.

He denies it’s anything to do with work, but I think it is as he’s recently had his job down-graded. It was either that or redundancy, so he chose the lesser role, but with the same salary. Do you think he’s more upset than he’s letting on? - SL

Fiona says: There are, potentially, all kinds of reasons – some could be medical. I would suggest you try and encourage him to talk to his GP. For example, a common concern is prostate problems, so this should be checked. But that won’t necessarily get to the cause of the problem if there are psychological issues. I suspect your theory may well be right. A dent in confidence can often affect libido.

Encourage him to understand that there is more to him than his job; he needs to know that you still love him and that you miss the intimacy you once had.