“IF HIS brains were dynamite,” my old mum was fond of saying, “he wouldn’t have enough to blow his hat off.”

She always had a nice line in insults, and I couldn’t help thinking of her last week, because I reckon the combined brains of all the people on Stoke Gifford Parish Council wouldn’t be enough to blow a single hat off.

You may have heard or read about them. They are the dunderheads who have decided to charge Parkrun UK for the privilege of amateur runners running in a park in Little Gifford, near Bristol.

Up until last week I didn’t know there was a weekly run in Little Gifford and, as a matter of fact, I didn’t know there was place called Little Gifford.

Until a few months ago I hadn’t heard of Parkrun, either, but a few of their Swindon branch turned up to the recent public meeting about the future of Lydiard House and Park, to show their opposition to anything that might prevent them holding their weekly runs there.

Surely nobody would ever stop runners using a public park, I thought.

You might be wondering why I am getting so worked up about the issue, especially since I hung up my own running shoes a few years ago.

I was forced to retire when my legs refused to co-operate with my brain’s plan to emulate my youth, when I used to run marathons.

I now cycle instead, but even a retired runner feels some solidarity with those who still pound the streets, so I considered coming out of retirement and joining in with a Parkrun event at Little Gifford or Lydiard, just to show ’em.

After all, it’s the thin end of the proverbial wedge.

Some people have got it into their heads that venues such as Little Gifford Park and - in another respect - Lydiard Park belong to the people charged with looking after them, rather than you and me, the true owners.

And this is exactly the kind of thing that can happen when people who like to sit on committees and councils lock themselves in rooms and become detached from real life and common sense.

It also underlines why we should be fearful of parishing - if this is the kind of thing that happens when responsibility is devolved to parish councillors.

I can understand one person might stand up with a hare-brained scheme like charging runners to run. They would presumably introduce a tax on air if they could work out how to meter it.

But what kind of collective madness caused enough people on that council to pick up such a ridiculous idea and - to coin a phrase - run with it?

And for every fool who suggested it and every twit who voted for it, there are also those who knew it was crazy, but sat back and let it happen.

So he or she - and that could mean me or you - are the ones who are ultimately to blame.

In the interests of balance, I should say Stoke Gifford Parish Council issued a statement, explaining their reasons for their decision, which you can read online. But to save you time I will summarise it for you. It said, more or less: We know the cost of everything and the value of nothing, so you’re stuck with it.

Now is the time for people who know the value of healthy exercise and everything else that benefits the community to stand up and, if necessary, fight them on the beaches and on the landing grounds.

And in the parks.