Haye, Just Calm Down Yeah? (From Swindon Advertiser)

Haye, Just Calm Down Yeah?

2:49pm Saturday 11th September 2010

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Yesterday was just a normal day.

I got up, went to work, and told my colleague I will end his career.

I looked him straight in the eye and promised to finally retire him.

I got everyone to gather round us while I puffed out my chest and threatened to violate, annihilate and humiliate him.

I went one step further and jumped on Twitter to tell the web that I was going to put my fellow professional - and one time friend, with more experience, but not necessarily more talent – in a degrading, harrowing, offensive and disgusting position compared to that of being gang raped by a bunch silver back gorillas.

I then went to bed, chuffed that a large proportion of the fans of my work confirmed they couldn’t wait to see me actually murder someone.

This, of course, would have been my day if my name was David Haye, not Carl Burkitt.

And if that WAS my day, I’m pretty sure I would have been fired.

However, during a time where particular attention is paid to the role model aspect of being a sports person, the World Heavyweight Champion continues to, in my opinion, over step the mark when talking about his forthcoming fight with Audley Harrison.

Now, before you all start screaming: “Carl, it’s boxing, it’s always been like that. Stop being boring,” I’m fully aware of this.

In fact, I enjoy boxing. I enjoy the build of tension before the fight, the skill and athleticism shown by the boxers and the spectacle of the show.

But, gang rape? Did he really have to go the far?

It didn’t quite have the cheeky arrogance and wit of Muhammad Ali‘s: “Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life,” “I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark,” or “I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own.” Did it?

The heavyweight division has been a bit of a joke in recent years and Haye appeared to be a welcome shining light. But his amateur displays of swearing a poor choice of metaphors in these press conferences has shoved it straight back in to the dirt.

The upsetting thing for me is how many people have applauded him for this. How much people genuinely want to see him pummel Audley Harrison to death. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never been on Harrison’s side and I know Haye is trying to hype the fight up, but I don’t want to see the Champ “violate” or retire another man trying to make a living.

Plus, imagine if a Wayne Rooney came out and said he planned to cause his next opponents a defeat resembling rape. We’d go bat poo insane! The media would hang him out to dry.

Not in a million years do I defend Wayne Rooney for cheating on his pregnant wife. Cheating on someone is the most despicable thing to put your partner through, and leaves the victim feeling pathetic, useless and ultimately blaming themselves. But the media have gone a little far with him now. It’s a private matter that needs to be dealt with in the four walls of Casa Del Rooney.

But why should Rooney continue to be hung drawn and quartered for a personal matter while Haye gets loaded with tweets and high fives telling him he’s the man for threatening to end a man’s livelihood?

It’s irresponsible. If football stars need to act as responsible role models, then shouldn’t six foot five inch boxers possessing the ability to slaughter someone with their bare hands, behave too?

If it slipped out in the heat of the moment I’d understand. But that’s not the case. Haye has refused to apologise and went as far as to say on Twitter: “I just have no shame! Lol!” Brilliant. Use your brain.

He doesn’t need to be saying all this. He is in possession of the belt. He has every one in his corner. No one is in Audley’s corner. They’re both going to get a pay day anyway. So why make yourself look like a thug?

I guess all I’m trying to say is: just tone it down a bit, Haye. We get it, you’re hard. You’re the champ. But beat him with your fists on the night rather than waffling on with pre-rehearsed rhetoric and risk looking like a lemon if (and it’s a big if) Audley ends up winning.

And above all, crack on with what you planned to do when you won the belt and bring back some class to boxing’s heavy weight division.