Check out the stickies! (From Swindon Advertiser)

Check out the stickies!

9:42pm Sunday 14th September 2008

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By Mum's The Word »

It’s been another busy week here at the shoe. I have spent the week settling into my new job and the children have all settled back into the school routine. My youngest is doing really well with going to school, the only problem that I have with him is that he refuses to put his school uniform on in the morning! I have tried persuading him and coaxing him nicely all to no avail, I have even tried to bribe him (naughty Mummy!) But that does not work either. I hate having to force him to put it on and the associated tantrums. It’s so strange because as soon as he leaves the house, he goes happily down the road with the other four and settles into his classroom really well. If anyone has any ideas on how to get him into his uniform please let me know, I would be grateful for any suggestions!

My eldest has settled into secondary school life remarkably well and I am very proud of him. It’s almost as if the more grown up environment and the routine have made him feel settled. I remember the move to Secondary and how stressful I found it and I don’t have PDD. My son seems to have taken it all in his stride and has come home telling me all about the new friends that he has made. I have everything crossed that he remains settled and happy. Full marks to Dorcan as well, they have obviously put a lot of work and planning into settling new students into the school. For Cal to have settled so quickly and with such ease, just goes to show.

I think in a way, it has also helped for my son to know that he has PDD (related autism condition) and exactly what it means. Before the diagnosis, he used to become very agitated and struggled to socialise with other children. He used to say “I am different to the other’s Mum” The fact that he felt a bit of an outsider used to make him feel slightly isolated from his peers and defensive,this then transferred itself into aggression. This was like a vicious circle, as his hostility and aggression caused his peers further problems, naturally if he was being aggressive and rude they really did not want to play with him. I admire the fact that he is so upfront and honest with his new peers at school about his PDD. He will explain to them what he has and what it means and I really think that this is helping with his forming of friendships. I am conscious that he could use the PDD as an excuse and take the Mickey a little and I do sometimes have to warn him about this. I tell him that because of the condition it is him primarily (not his friends) who needs to work hard in order to get on with others happily.

I am still having huge problems with the benefits people, due to the situation that arose a few months ago. I am now working which has changed everything and I am praying that our family tax payments don’t cease whilst they sort things out again.

You may remember earlier this year that I made the decision to try to come off Incapacity so that I could work. I then subsequently passed the medical, was taken off Incapacity and given the green light to look for suitable work. In the meantime I received a letter from the Income Support people reassuring me that I would receive this benefit until I was working. They then stopped all my payments without informing me and we found ourselves in a really bad financial situation.

We have since managed to sort things out to a certain degree and now receive what we are entitled to. However, because there was a period this year where the income support was stopped, this has meant that my housing benefit for that period has now been cancelled, even though we were entitled to the benefit all along Grrrrr!

I have tried persuading him and coaxing him nicely all to no avail, I have even tried to bribe him (naughty Mummy!)

All this is because I made the decision that I wanted to come off state benefits and work! Because of this decision I have been penalised all the way. It’s so bloody wrong to think that if I had sat on my arse claiming and not bothered trying to work then all the problems that I am now facing would not exist.

I remain glad that I have taken the steps that I have though and proud that I am now working. Although in the meantime I am receiving lots of letters from Swindon Borough Council threatening me with eviction and court over rent and council tax arrears. Because I was entitled to the benefit all along, I am trying to prove that actually I don’t owe this money. I have filled in so many different forms and been twice now to appointments with the housing benefit people. They now want more information, so it’s back on the phone Monday morning to arrange a third appointment.

Every time the postie puts our letters through the door, I am walking into the hallway with baited breath wondering what threats we are going to receive next. I wish I was rich! If I had the chance to live my life again, I would ensure that both myself and my husband (not just my husband, because you so clearly can’t rely on anyone apart from yourself in this world) were both financially secure before having a child. They say hindsight is a wonderful thing hey! Anyway, I feel bad as it’s the children who suffer. All I can do is try to make sure that the kids do not make the same mistake. Encourage them to work hard at school and help them to get good secure jobs (although these seem to be becoming rarer, even bordering on the extinct arrggh!)

Life is too complicated and now I have bored you all beyond belief! I am going to go away and get on with some jobs (the kids are all really quiet? Omg! What are they up too?)