A jolly festive tale (From Swindon Advertiser)

A jolly festive tale

6:51pm Monday 22nd December 2008

• Print
• Email
• Comments(2)

I’m sat here in bed feeling really sorry for myself. I have come down with the dreaded lurgie. Now I know that it is the season of goodwill and festivities, but I hadn’t actually planned on doing such a stunning resemblance of Rudolph.

Christmas time is of course the season when many an “interesting” tale is told over an obligatory glass of beer or six. These tales are often stored up throughout the entire year, deemed too risky and too embarrassing for public ears, until that is we enter the season to be jolly (jolly silly more like!)

As soon as the tinsel comes out and the annual Christmas tat shop opens (refer to Grumpy’s earlier blog for further details), what would normally be deemed unsuitable suddenly becomes unclassified and deemed a tale to share, normally at the top of one’s voice in the middle of a very crowded room.

I have always enjoyed this aspect of the festivities. Is this not indeed the reason why nobody wants to be the first guest at a “Christmas do”? It is usually first come first served and therefore first drunk and likely to tell such stories. I don’t want to drop myself in the “doo doo” and come out with the tales; I want to be one of those on the listening end, gleefully chuckling at another’s embarrassing misdemeanours. I realise that now I have said this in public, I run the risk that nobody will ever want to invite me to their Christmas party again. I hope however that everyone reading this will have their fill of mulled wine and will have magically forgotten it in time for next Christmas.

Now I have to bring kids into the equation somewhere, as I am indeed Mum’s The Word. This year I have not enjoyed the Christmas tales as much as I have in past years. This is because whilst listening to these tales of disastrous drunken exploits, I find myself wondering which one of my children is likely to be the main star in such a tale in future years. I seem to have a cub name spring almost immediately to mind, as soon as each tale is divulged. I then hyperventilate, pour myself another mulled wine and hit the mince pies!