Shag Bands - a dangerous game or a harmless craze?

3:55pm Wednesday 28th October 2009

By Mum's The Word

This morning at breakfast time, my eleven year old son came down the stairs with two coloured bands around his wrist. A harmless fashion accessory? The latest kiddie craze? I asked him what the bands were and he replied without missing a beat, “Oh they are shag bands.”

I had suspected as much after reading a couple of newspaper articles about this latest phase a few of months back – it seems we are a bit slow with crazes in Swindon then!

For those of you who don’t know, shag bands are different coloured bands and each colour represents a different sex act. They even have their own UK website shagbands.co.uk

I politely asked my son if he would mind taking them off and went on to explain that I found them inappropriate because they are associated with a “sex game” He already knew this, and then his 9 year old brother chipped in about knowing what you had to do if your black band broke. Three of the children aged 11, 10 and 9 all knew what the various colours represented.

I have had varying opinions about shag bands from other parents. Some let their children have them on condition that they wear them purely as a fashion accessory. They have spoken to their children about the game involved and trust their children enough to know that they won’t play the “associated sex game” Some see it as a phase that will soon blow out if they pay little attention to it and let their children wear them. They fear that by banning their children from wearing them they will just ignite and lengthen the phase and their children will want them even more. Other parents refuse to let their children have them full stop.

That’s the thing about parenthood – good parents will make an informed choice for their child, those choices may vary and for us all to get along, we have to respect and understand this.

I have told my children that I am not happy for them to wear them. I have explained that I trust them enough not to play the games involved and to just wear them as fashion accessories, however, just by wearing them other people may think that they are involved in the associated game.

So many parents out there feel pressurised into allowing their children to do things that they are not comfortable with, for fear of ostracising their child and to me that’s wrong.

The children have taken it all quite well and I hope that we have a close enough relationship for them to understand that my decision is based on my concern for them. The mere fact that they are called “shag bands” says it all - children and sex games should never go together and be associated in any way.