10 Reasons to Never Mess with Me Before I Have Had My Caffeine! (From Swindon Advertiser)

10 Reasons to Never Mess with Me Before I Have Had My Caffeine!

8:50am Wednesday 8th June 2011 in Your Say By Redneck Girl

Everyone has a vice that gets them motivated and moving in the morning. Waking up to a sixteen year old nagging at you to make his breakfast is not one of them! So, I have decided to put down in words 10 reasons to leave me be until I have had my caffeine ...oh yeah AND happy pills!

1.) Waking me up to make your breakfast when you are perfectly capable of going downstairs to fix yourself a bowl of cereal (just too lazy to do it yourself).

2.) Waking me up because you can’t sleep (that just makes 2 crabby people in the morning and WWIII will happen).

3.) Telling me what I am going to do (never good at any time of the day).

4.) Yelling at me because you cannot find what you are looking for and then having your excuse be because he is handicapped, has no hands, no legs, partially sighted (true but, also not an excuse), blind, in a wheelchair, has Noonan Syndrome (which is true but, not an excuse), only 2 years old (he is 16 years old), he is missing all appendages on his body and because I am closer (which I am usually not)!

5.) Nagging at me on the weekends to go somewhere constantly from 6:00am till 9:00pm.

6.) Saying “I can’t let Holly out because she can do it herself!” (Apparently our husky grew opposable thumbs overnight).

7.) Swearing just because you say your friends at school do it!

8.) Yelling from upstairs to you when you only need to come down to tell me something (according to my son it is essential because I don’t reply to him).

9.) Arguing with me about anything and everything because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

10.) Scream at me in my face (you are just asking for me to get out my case of Whoop Ass!!!) There you have my 10 reasons keep in mind this is all true incidents that are not taken from anyone else’s life but my own. Just for the record...no one was hurt or injured in anyway but my sanity was stolen for the time it took to end each of these incidents (I think I need to talk to my Doctor about changing my happy pills because teenagers can break through them! Have a great day!

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