Letter from Greg Dunningham (From Swindon Advertiser)

Letter from Greg Dunningham

4:01pm Friday 19th March 2010 in

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WELL there seems to be some sort of ruckus going on about this WeeFee or Wifi thingy which lets you use a sort of televisual aid to talk to people you haven't seen in ages, exchange pictures without them getting creased, find ancestors you would rather forget about upon reflection, look up jobs, read up to date information, do research for degrees and schoolwork, sell things to keep you solvent, find and buy things you always wanted, register your annoyance or delight through letters pages (like the Swindon Advertiser) and much more including catching up on programmes you missed or ones about to be broadcast, and even finding recipes for someone you love or hate! A wonderment for us all in these dark Brown ages.

And do you also know that it will be available to everyone in Swindon... yes it will! From the young to the old and even the unstable (which seems to include me according to some sources). It also will be good for business... How is this? I hear you say. Well on a wet afternoon during, the recent Ice Age, I happened upon the scroll containing the council strategy for WoofyWee, and I deduce that if you have a building with say 10 small businesses in it, each paying for their own connection, this new fangled WotsitWhosit will enable them to reduce their annual fees because they will have one supplier! And the benefits are equally magnified for the larger concern. Now, I also have been made aware of the need to attract business back to Swindon recently as it was a few years ago during the boom years when we prospered on the herds of cattle and pigs that came to our markets. What better way to do this by being up with our 'fellow' European countries (I cannot believe I just wrote that).

I am also aware that a lot of our senior citizens are now becoming very interested in the Internet as a way of keeping in contact with their families who are spreading far and wide since Columbus made that incredible discovery of new lands across the great flat sea and those who have been deported to the land Cook discovered recently.

There are a few other things which may impact this and I fully expect the odd anorak to write some vitriolic letter in response to this but we have to move forward. Look, I am even in favour of this steam thing and coaches powered by steam or trains as the revolutionaries call them coming to Swindon. Okay, okay, I know that is incredibly controversial but if we actual embrace this chap Brunel, who seems to know what he is doing with some bits of metal and who knows, we might even become a major centre for the building of trains. I know I have no proof of this but something tells me it is a winner. So why not stop all this Luddite palaver and see what is really going on here. If Robin Bluh and his Merry Men are doing what they say they are doing, which is to create a commercial enterprise to help funds come into Swindon which will in due course and reduce the percentage increase in our council costs via rates etc, then why not let them at least try. If they fail then we can vote them out, exile them from the county and set the Sheriff of Wiltshire on their trail. On the other hand if they succeed... will we complain?

So I am for letting this chap Brunel and this Rikki 'The Lionheart' Hunt fellow at least try to bring this town into the 19th century.

GREG DUNNINGHAM Marlborough Road Swindon