JULIAN Clary will be looking for love when he plays a sold-out show in Swindon next week.

“Because I’m still considered to be quite a catch and because your town is noted for its heterosexuals on the cusp, there’s bound to be stiff competition,” he said. “Therefore I’ll be hosting ruthless elimination games. You can be sure of one thing; by the end of the evening, we’ll all be celebrating my new partnership.

“A glass of Blue Nun may be available to those who make an effort or anyone named Jason. But please bring your own confetti.”

Julian, who won Celebrity Big Brother earier this year, last performed in Swindon during his Lord of the Mince tour a couple of years ago, but thanks to a well-known family connection, he’s a frequent visitor to the town. “I was there this week,” he said, “visiting the parents and doing a spot of shopping in Asda.”

Julian will be at the Wyvern next Thursday.