Driving friends away

My husband doesn’t want any friends around us, and it’s becoming a serious problem.

I’ve lost three friends already and now he’s pushing our church friends away from me too. I’ve tried to speak to him about it but we just end up arguing.

Please can you advise what I should do before I lose everyone? -BB

Fiona says: Has your husband always been this way or is this something new for him? If it’s a new phenomenon, it sounds like he may be depressed, in which case, please encourage him to see a doctor.

If he’s always been this way, then there is little point in you trying to change him. Instead, cultivate friends without him - make contact with the three friends you’ve lost and arrange to see them without your husband being there. Accept invitations to parties and social events, but be prepared to go alone.

Tell your friends that your husband doesn’t enjoy social occasions and they’ll soon get used to seeing you without him - especially your church friends.

I don't like her boyfriend

My best friend broke up with her boyfriend at the end of last year but now they’re getting back together. She dumped him when she found out he’d been seeing someone else, but now she wants to give him a second chance.

I really wish she wouldn’t, as I’ve never liked him. He also clearly doesn’t like me because I called him out whenever he treated her badly, which was a lot.

She says she’s in love with him and wants to make it work this time. - DL

Fiona says: However much you dislike and distrust this man, your friend has decided he’s the one for her. If you don’t give him another chance, you’ll probably hurt your friend and it may bring a friendship you clearly care about to an end.

People can change and, whilst like you, I’m not optimistic about the outcome, your friend has decided that she wants this relationship to work. As she’s investing so much time and effort in this man, you really need to be there for her.