THE divorce of actress Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay’s Chris Martin in 2014 was probably the first time many of us had heard of ‘conscious uncoupling’ – which Paltrow used to describe the process of their separation.

But she did not invent the phrase that launched a thousand news stories – in fact its origins lie in the work of best-selling American writer, and licensed marriage and family therapist, Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Now the author of Calling in The One: Seven Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life, as well as Conscious Uncoupling: Five Steps to Living Happily Even After, is taking a long-awaited trip across the Atlantic to Britain, and to Swindon. She will be sharing her expertise and experience in matters of the heart with an audience at The Place in the Wyvern Theatre on April 24.

Katherine herself went through a divorce after 10 years’ marriage to Mark.

“Our saving grace was that we did it very gracefully and well,” she said. “We were motivated – we had a young daughter and wanted to make sure she still had a happy childhood.

“We both had come from divorced families, where things were not so peaceful between parents who were getting divorced.”

She said that at some point in the process of her parents’ divorce she lost contact with her father – which had a big impact on her, and her future relationships.

“Eventually my mother remarried and I was adopted by my mother’s husband. That was the best thinking at that time but it had tremendous consequences. We know more about attachment theory now, and fathers are not replaceable.

“I knew the consequences of a bad divorce from the inside – I did not want my daughter to suffer.”

Katherine said that if people could restructure their relationship through a divorce, to become co-parenting partners where children still feel safe and loved, they could still have a happy and secure childhood – and the family could have what she called a “happy even after.”

In fact, she says her relationships are so positive she and her husband and his first wife, and their daughter can get together at holidays - creating a new form of extended family.

“This is an ideal,” she said. “We do not want to damage our children but divorce does damage our children if, despite our best efforts, we still have festering anger. Children can feel it. Children can feel the injury.”

The book talks about the biology of what happens at the end of a relationship, with the rupture of the attachment, and when what was once a positive bond becomes a negative one.

“There are the complexities of dealing with the situation, not knowing how to make things whole again with your former partner. Then there are pressures of friends and family, or a sense of shame diminishing your well being.

“That is still there - people feel humiliated and ashamed of their divorce.

“All these are forces which would have us behaving badly, and we can start doing things which hurt ourselves and others.”

Her book describes a five-step process on how to end a romantic union in a respectful way, and a step-by-step road map for how to break up but cause minimal damaged for all involved.

“It examines all of the feelings we are having, all the pressures we are under, when we are at our worst but we are having to make really big decisions,” Katherine said.

It offers a guide for how separating couples can co-operate and create new agreements and structures moving forward. The book began as an on-line course that helped thousands to break up better.

This will be Katherine’s first visit to the UK since she was 18.

“I have been thinking about making the trip for a while, to connect with friends in London,” she said.

A visit to Stonehenge may be on the cards when in Wiltshire, and Katherine said she was looking forward to going to the theatre.

Her life-affirming teachings have featured on The Today Show as well as many other media outlets throughout the world. Tickets for Conscious Uncoupling: A Better Way to Break up, cost £20.

To book, call 01793 524481 or visit