WHY IS MY DOCTOR SO PATRONISING?

I am 31, married and have two children, but my doctor still treats me like I am only 13.

He seems to know his stuff, but he's been our family doctor for as long as I can remember - I think I first saw him when I was about six. He was particularly helpful last year when I had a skin cancer scare, but I do wish he would stop patronising me.

I know this must sound petty, but it really is beginning to annoy me - so much so that I now dread having to see him. Should I speak to him or will he be offended? The last thing I want is to get struck off from his practice.

My friend said that her father was struck off recently and is now finding it hard to register with another practice. Should I just put up with my GP as he is?

W. H.

FIONA SAYS: WHY NOT TRY TRANSFERRING TO A NEW GP IN THE PRACTICE?

I'm sure he wouldn't be offended if you worded it correctly. After a patronising remark, you could gently remind him, "Dr X, I'm not 13 anymore, you know!"

Treat it as a bit of a joke and try to laugh as you say it - it might make him realise he's out of line. If you're not happy with him or can't face asking him to change his manner, ask the receptionist to transfer you to another GP in the practice. You don't need to tell your existing doctor and you don't need to say why you want to move.

There are two issues here, though. Other doctors might not have space on their lists for new patients, so you may have to join a waiting list. Also, you might want to try one-off appointments with the other doctors until you find one that you like.

Doctors do strike-off patients, but this is typically because of aggressive behaviour or where the patient/doctor relationship has completely broken down. This does not seem to be the case with you, so please don't worry.

WHY DOES MY PARTNER WANT TO SLEEP WITH OTHER WOMEN?

My fiance and I are going to the Seychelles later this year for a holiday. I'm looking forward to it, but he's worried me by saying that, as we are not due to get married for a year or two, it should be OK for him to have sex with other women while we are there.

We are both virgins and have previously agreed to not have sex until we are married. However, he thinks that if he doesn't get it out of his system now, it might come back later and wreck our marriage.

I am not sure I could cope with him having sex with someone else, but he is being very persistent. Would it really hurt if I agreed and might it stop him from straying later?

J. M.

FIONA SAYS: I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT TO BE UPSET

If he thinks that it's acceptable to sleep with other women while on a romantic holiday with his fiance, I doubt it will stop him having affairs if he decides he wants to.

I also suspect this has less to do with saving your marriage and much more to do with manipulating you into agreeing to have sex with him while you are away. I find little here that makes me think this immature man is capable of a loving, trusting relationship and I think you are right to be uneasy.

Tackle this issue now, preferably before you go on holiday, and certainly before you get married.