WE need a new law called the People Who Just Don’t Get It Act.

I realised this after reading a couple of Adver stories over the last few days.

One was about an Old Etonian banker who saw fit to drive his Jag at 119mph along the M4 not far from Swindon, while the other was about some people who left their dog in a parked car in the full glare of the sun on a baking hot day.

The driver behaved as he did because he apparently thought reaching a stag party in Bristol was more important than the lives of fellow road users, while the owners of the dog are said to have refused to believe they were doing anything wrong.

In other words, they clearly just don’t get it. They are among an awful lot of people who just don’t get it, and who just don’t get it in ways beyond number.

Now don’t misunderstand me here. I’m a great believer in personal liberty, and if anybody wants to go around just not getting it, that’s entirely up to them even if they end up hurting themselves.

For example, a person might just not get the fact that unless you’re an expert identifier of fungi, it’s probably best to buy the mushrooms for your morning fry up from a shop instead of heading for the woods and picking the first ones you like the look of.

However, they have every right to do just that, even if they end up with a full set of non-functional internal organs or fleeing down the street in terror because all the lamp posts have suddenly turned into giant snakes.

In a similar vein, if a person smells gas in their house, their best course of action is to call the gas company and wait for assistance, but if they decide instead to investigate the source of the leak by crawling about in the cupboard under the stairs with a fag lighter, that is their prerogative.

The only exception to this rule is when somebody who just doesn’t get it risks harming others. That is where my People Who Just Don’t Get It Act would come in. It would simply involve taking away anything a person who just doesn’t get it might harm or cause harm with.

A person who broke the speed limit by nearly 50mph would receive a letter saying: “When it comes to road safety, you clearly just don’t get it.

“If you alone were endangered by your behaviour, we frankly wouldn’t be bothered. You could drive at 200mph for all we cared, and end up turning yourself into something resembling a dropped bucket of cranberry sauce.

“Unfortunately, other human beings are endangered by you, so we’re taking your car away and not allowing you to drive again, ever.

“We might let you have a bike, but only if you promise not to be one of those annoying cyclists who ride through red lights and give the other cyclists a bad name.”

People who left animals in hot cars would get a letter saying: “It has come to our attention that, in spite of countless awareness campaigns and tragedies, you are still unaware that the big yellow thing in the sky gives off heat and makes vehicles lethally hot.

“As a result of your just not getting it, an animal supposedly in your care suffered a great deal and might have died had its suffering gone on for much longer.

“Accordingly, we’re taking your animals away from you and you’re not allowed to have any ever again.

“We realise you may think this harsh. If you do, we invite you to reflect on the matter in a suitable setting.

“We suggest waiting until the next really hot day, parking your car in direct sunlight, climbing in and having some friends park their own vehicles so close that you can’t open your doors.

“Then wait for a few hours and see what happens. You probably won’t feel too chipper but at least you’ll get it.”