Friday February 8

Andrew Doyle, 7.30pm, Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Old Town, Swindon. £13.50. 01793 524481. Andrew Doyle is one of the UK’s foremost political satirists. Friendly Fire is his seventh solo stand-up show. It follows the critically acclaimed Thought Crimes, which ran at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last year and later transferred to the Soho Theatre in London. Andrew is co-writer of internet sensation Jonathan Pie, and has collaborated with Pie creator Tom Walker on numerous viral videos. Their response to Donald Trump’s election has been viewed online more than 150 million times.

Henning Wehn, 8pm, Wyvern Theatre, Theatre Square, Swindon. £22.50. 01793 524481. You couldn’t make it up; surely the German Comedy Ambassador Henning Wehn hasn’t bosched out yet another new show? And what’s he still doing here anyway? Well, his lack of transferable skills is what keeps him here and his belief that practise makes perfect is what keeps him going. This show is a much needed call to arms. Listen, everyone: stop pondering and hand- wringing. Instead get on your bike and put your face to the grindstone!

Lunchtime Talk , 12.30pm, Museum & Art Gallery, Bath Road, Swindon. Free. 01793 466556. Join the curator for a free introduction to Swindon’s collection of studio ceramics. This talk has a special focus on the current exhibition and recent acquisitions by Ann Stokes and Jo Taylor.

Swindon Vixens Learning Disability Netball Club, 6pm, Dorcan Dome, Dorcan Recreation Centre, St Paul’s Drive, Covingham, Swindon. 01793 423134

The Hucklebuck, 8pm, Arlington Arts Centre, Mary Hare,Newbury. £12. 01635 244246.

Titleist Custom Fitting Day, 12pm, Bowood Golf Club, Bowood House, Calne. Sign up for a 40-minute Titleist Custom Fitting and try the new Titleist Hardware for 2019.

Saturday February 9

Family Drop-in Workshop, 11am, Museum & Art Gallery, Bath Road, Swindon. £3. 01793 466556. Celebrate Chinese New Year by making a dancing dragon and bring good luck to the Year of the Pig!

Jason Manford, 7.30pm, The Oasis, North Star Avenue, Swindon. £31. 01793 445401. It’s been a busy few years for Jason Manford since his last smash-hit stand-up show but fans of his Absolute Radio show will know this nationally acclaimed comedian hasn’t changed a bit. Muddle Class promises to feature a wealth of new material about Jason growing up ‘working class’ then finding, over the years, that part of him has become ‘middle class’ - causing much confusion! Delivered with Jason’s amiable charm and captivating wit, this is a show not to be missed.

Lucy Porter, 8pm, Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Old Town, Swindon. £17.50. 01793 524481. A brand new stand-up show from the TV favourite Lucy Porter. Always warm, witty and thought-provoking, this is Lucy’s best show yet. She muses on what we receive from our ancestors and what we pass on to future generations. Lucy’s inherited dodgy knees and global warming from her parents, but can she leave a better legacy for her children?

Meet the Railway Workers, 10am, Steam, Fire Fly Avenue, Swindon. Free after admission. 01793 466637. Meet the Railway Workers takes place fortnightly on Saturdays. Whatever your age, our friendly team of volunteers will add to the STEAM experience as you tour the Museum. They will welcome you aboard three famous locomotives: No. 4073 Caerphilly Castle, No. 3717 City of Truro, and No. 6000 King George V! You'll even get to find out how the controls worked on the great engines! Expect to hear some fascinating anecdotes of what it was like to be a GWR engine driver, fireman or labourer; or an engineer, craftsman or office worker at one of the 'Shops' inside GWR's Swindon Works. Every fortnight.

Purton and District Age Concern Jumble Sale, 2pm, Purton Village Hall, Station Road, Purton. There will be lots of bargains, Bric a brac, toys, books and nearly new clothes. There will also be a raffle and refreshments available. Jumble can be left at the hall between 12-1pm. All proceeds are for Purton and District Age Concern.

Swindon Wellbeing & Arts Festival Launch Event, 7pm, Artsite, The Post Modern, Theatre Square, Swindon. The launch of Swindon's first Wellbeing & Arts Festival. Poetry provided by The Rusty Goat and music by The Flour Babies.

Tennis Xpress Course, 10.30am, Highworth Tennis Club, Highworth Recreation Centre (to the rear of) The Elms, Highworth. £54 (that's just £9 a lesson!). 07576 781857. Learn how to play tennis in just 6 weeks!

Wilts Swindon Ramblers, 10am, Dinton Village Hall, Bratch Lane, Salisbury. 01793 727091 / 07932 109209. Area annual general meeting with speaker Richard Broadhead from Wiltshire Council. Choice of walks afterwards.

Sunday February 10

Introduction to Fruit Tree Pruning, 10am, Stanton Park, The Avenue, Stanton Fitzwarren, Swindon, Swindon. Free. 01793 490150. Learn how to prune an apple tree with Ranger Ross Sheppard in the orchard at Stanton Park. This will give you an insight on the theory and practical application of fruit tree pruning, in order to improve the trees health, form and fruit yield. Meet at the Great Barn, Stanton Park Please wear clothes to suit the weather and stout shoes Bring a note-pad, gardening gloves, secateurs and pruning saw, if you have them.

Back To Netball, 9.45am, Dorcan Sports Hall, Dorcan Recreation Centre St Paul’s Drive Covingham, Swindon. £3. 01793 423134. Ideal for beginners or if you haven’t played in a while. It’s a fun and social way to get fit and stay active.

Ballroom and Latin American Dance Classes, 2.15pm, Cricklade Town Hall, High Street, Cricklade. £15 per couple. 01793 325341. Ballroom and Latin dance classes-Beginners/Improvers/Intermediates/Advanced. All levels welcome. One hour per session, also private lessons available.

Mid Wilts Ramblers: Fyfield Down and Devil's Den, 10am, Fyfield Down, Fyfield Down, Marlborough. 07721 030 000. Meet leader at car park on Fyfield Down. Gentle hills with some stiles. Bring refreshments. 6 miles.

North West Wiltshire Ramblers: A Sunday Stroll at Newark Park to see the snow drops, 12pm, Bath Road Car Park, Chippenham. 4mile/6km. Moderate. Snow Drops and visit house, £9 for non National Trust members. NT car park, £3 for non-members, Wotton-under-Edge, GL12 7PZ, ST 785 935 on OS Map 167. Tudor hunting lodge to intriguing historic home set in a spectacular estate. Opportunity to look around the house/picnic/lunch then walk starts at 2pm from the house entrance. Hills (ascent 190m). Lifts are suggested at £5. Meet at Bath Road car park Chippenham SN15 2AE for car sharing. 01249 701265.

Simon Weston, 7.30pm, Arts Centre, Devizes Road, Old Town, Swindon. £20.50. 01793 524481. One man’s journey from the front line of war, being on the edge of death, to being a happy and contented father, grandfather and national treasure. Simon Weston OBE was trapped on the burning RFA Sir Galahad after it was bombed by two Argentine planes during the Falklands War in 1982. He suffered burns to 46% of his body and lost many of his comrades. He is one of the most recognised faces of the conflict and in this show he discusses his experiences with his close friend David FitzGerald from the BBC. This truly inspirational tale will take you from the most horrific moments of the conflict to his numerous operations, to his slow recovery of the years and on to the public recognition he receives today. The highs and lows, the laughter and the memories from the questions that only David can ask with answers only Simon can give.

Slapstick Sunday with Andy Day, 2pm, Bristol Hippodrome, St Augustine's Parade, Bristol. £11.25 - £16.25. 0844 847 2341. Slapstick Sunday with popular children’s TV presenter Andy Day. Join Andy for a laugh-out-loud extravaganza film show created especially for your little ones. Perfect for children, Andy will share some of his favourite funny film clips. He's chosen a selection of hysterical silent comedies and animations to delight and transfix your children. Watch and giggle at the best of Laurel & Hardy, Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton and more! Marvel at the world's first animated Dinosaur in Gertie the Dinosaur (1914). Delight in Andy's mad-capped antics and tongue-twisting raps. In a bright and safe film world from the past, Slapstick Sunday with Andy Day captures young children's imaginations and introduces them to the wonderful world of classic comedy.

Junior Park Run, 9am, Lydiard House & Park, Lydiard Park, Lydiard Tregoze, Swindon. Free. 01793 770401. Two kilometre run for youngsters aged 4 to 14. Please register in advance at www.parkrun.org.uk

Lacock Boot Sale, 6.30am, Off the A350 between Melksham & Chippenham, Lacock, Chippenham. Sellers £6. Buyers 50p per car. 07805 495034.

Bingo, 12pm, RAFA Club, Belle Vue Road, Old Town, Swindon. 01793 201349.

Life Drawing Workshop, 10am, Moose Hall, Eastcott Road, Swindon. £36. 07919 895 195. Supportive, non-judgemental group of artists (hobby & serious) for a full day of figurative art - once a month. www.modelled.me.uk.

Monday February 11

Swindon Male Voice Choir, 7.30pm, St John The Baptist Church Hall, Whitbourne Avenue, Swindon. 01793 822495. New members welcome.

Mess session, 8.30pm, Beehive, Prospect Hill, Old Town, Swindon. Free. 01793 523187.

Deep relaxation for wellbeing session. Small, safe group environment to unwind, chill out and relax. First session free. Escape the stress and anxieties of modern-day living. Relaxation helps manage anxiety and depression and builds inner resources. Every Monday 6.30 – 7.30 at the Health Hydro.07775694140 or just turn up on the night. £15. jkelifecoaching.co.uk

Step Out Swindon Covingham Health Walk, 2pm, The St Paul's Church Centre, St Paul's Drive, Swindon. Free. 01793 727091. One hour brisk walk in a friendly group to explore the green pathways of the local area followed by tea and biscuits social. Keep fit and healthy and meet new friends in a safe and secure group.

Step Out Swindon Haydon Gentle Health Walk, 2pm, The Haydon Centre, Thames Avenue Greenmeadow, Swindon. Free. 07824 715983. Short or longer gentle walk. Suitable for those with some mobility issues. Seated Exercises are also available. Tea and biscuits social after the exercises in a safe and secure group.

Step Out Swindon Lower Shaw Health Walk, 2pm, Lower Shaw Farm, Old Shaw Lane, Swindon. Free. 01793 535759. Brisk walk of one hour or a shorter more gentle walk with friendly group. Tea and biscuits social after will help you make new friends in a safe and secure environment.

Step Out Swindon Penhill Health Walk, 10am, The John Moulton Hall, Penhill Drive, Swindon. Free. 01793 701670. One hour walk in a friendly group to explore the green pathways followed by a tea and biscuits social. Keep fit and healthy and meet new friends in a safe and secure group.

Beginners Mosaics, 11am, Artsite, The Post Modern, Theatre Square, Swindon. 07910959036. Please book in advance. £40 for four weeks.

Book Club, 7.30pm, Savernake Hall, Savernake Street, Swindon. £2 for coffee. New book club meets once a month

Dance Fit Fusion class, 6.30pm, Swindon Dance, Regent Circus, Swindon. £6.20. 01793 601700. Full body aerobic workout incorporating a range of dance styles. No need to book. Every Monday

Fight Klub Swindon, 7pm, SUJU, 28 High Street, Swindon. £7. 07871 441 691.

Fitsteps Fab, 6.45pm, St Mary's Church Hall, Cheney Manor Road, Rodbourne Cheney, Swindon. £5. 01793 325341. Fitsteps Fab is a Dance workout designed for people who prefer a low impact workout, whilst learning classic dances such as waltz, Foxtrot, Jive etc.....

Jack and Jills Toddlers, 9.30am, Savernake Hall, Savernake Street, Swindon. Friendly and fun toddler group run by volunteers.

Walking Netball, 6.15pm, Bradon Forest School Sports Hall, The Peak, Purton. £3 per session. 01793 423134. Walking Netball is a slowed down version of the game of netball, designed for anyone looking to exercise in a relaxed, supportive, friendly environment and is suitable for all ages and abilities.

Poker Tournament, 8pm, Beehive, 55 Prospect Hill, Old Town, Swindon. 01793 523187. Every Monday evening.

Moredon Netball Club , keep fit and socialise. The club trains in term time every Monday, and plays on Saturdays, at Dorcan School. £2 per match. 07970 162844 or email karen@cdrecruitment.co.uk

Bingo, Royal Wootton Bassett Bowls Club, Tanners Close, Royal Wootton Bassett. 01249816880.

Fitsteps Class, 8pm, The Dance Studio, The Marsh, Wanborough. 07747606501. A fun dance and fitness class based on the moves from Strictly. Suitable for all ages and abilities.

Salsa class, 7.30pm, Swindon Dance, Regent Circus, Swindon. £6, £4.25. 01793 601700. New salsa class for adults 16 plus. Pay as you

go.

Ultimate Core Circuit Class, 6.15pm, Lydiard Millicent village hall, The Green, Swindon. £56. 01793 778310.

Just Friends, 1.45pm, Emlyn Square Community Centre, Emlyn Square, Swindon. 01793 497081. Group for bereaved people meet for chat and a cup of tea or go to the theatre and trips out on the second Monday of each month.

Tai Chi Classes with Graham Pritchard, Community Centre, Savernake Street, Old Town, Swindon. 6.15pm, Every Monday. 07855977904.

Sling Swing, 1pm, Community Centre, Savernake Street, Old Town, Swindon. Fun and funky dance class for parents with baby in a sling.

Tuesday February 12

JTPTrust Junior Singing Classes, 5.30pm, Haydonleigh School, Haydon Court Drive, Swindon. 01793 535185. For children led by teachers experienced in solo work, choral and Musical Theatre.

Jam session, Beehive, Prospect Hill, Old Town, Swindon. 8.30pm. Free.

Open Mic Night, The Queen’s Tap, Station Road, Swindon. Free. 01793 535395. Hosted by Matt Chipperfield, pa provided, everyone welcome.

Hot rockin gospel, 7.30pm, St John's Church, Whitbourne Avenue, Swindon. £3. 07913816245

Swindon Gilbert and Sullivan Society rehearsals, Wroughton Workingmen’s club, Devizes Road, Wroughton. Every Tuesday between September and June. New members welcome. For more details visit http://swindongilbertandsullivan.weebly.com/

Ceramics, 6pm, Artsite, The Post Modern, Theatre Square, Swindon. 07841487999. £15.

Mindfulness and Meditation Evening, 6.45pm, Friends Meeting House, 78 Eastcott Hill, Swindon. suggested voluntary donation £4. 07545 583148. Join us for an evening of mindfulness and meditation in the tradition of Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh. Find out more details about who we are and what we do on our website; http://www.mindfulnessinswindon.info

Mosaics, 7.30pm, Artsite, The Post Modern, Theatre Square, Swindon. £10 07765801949. Materials included.

Over 50's Walking Football, 2pm, Grange Leisure Centre, Stratton, Swindon. £3. (3G pitch) We are short of players, so need anyone who fancy's a go.

Read more at http://www.wiltshirefa.com/players/walking-football#EhTdk7glCZM2q92H.99

Walking Netball, 7pm, Dorcan Dome, Dorcan Recreation Centre, St Paul’s Drive Covingham, Swindon. £3. 01793 423134. Slowed down version of the game of netball, designed for anyone looking to exercise in a relaxed, supportive, friendly environment and is suitable for all ages and abilities.

Road Running, 7pm, Haydon Centre, Thames Avenue Haydon Wick, Swindon. 50p for non-members. 01793 536429. Swindon Harriers Running group all abilities.

Yin Yoga, 6.30pm, Integral Yoga Studio, Swindon Road, Swindon. £7. 07900 693303. Yin Yoga is a less dynamic form of yoga for those looking to improve and increase their range of movement and flexibility.

Over 50's Walking Football, 2pm, Grange Leisure Centre, Stratton, Swindon. £3. Tuesdays (3G pitch) Anyone who fancy's a go welcome. /www.wiltshirefa.com/players/walking-football#EhTdk7glCZM2q92H.99

Pilates Barre, 7pm, Swindon Dance, Regent Circus, Swindon. £42. 01793 601700. Total Barre integrates Pilates, Cardio, Dance and Strength training in a high energy and dynamic class. Total Barre is designed to emphasize the correct biomechanics of movement to increase strength, flexibility, stamina and dynamic stability- all set to music. Safe, motivational and fun.

Sword fencing - Swindon Fencing Club, 7pm, Link Centre, West Swindon. £6 juniors, £9 adult - discount for standing order. 07527 546164. Fencing is one of the fastest growing sports in the UK. In the age of chivalry, duelling was favoured as a method of settling matters of honour, because of its grace & simplicity

Salto Juniors, 5pm, Swindon Dance, Regent Circus, Swindon. £4.75 per class or £37 per term. 01793 601700. All inclusive dance class for children aged seven to 12 with or without learning and physical disabilities, exploring a range of styles with Charlotte Newman

Ceroc Dance class, 8pm, Stratton Leisure Centre, Grange Drive, Swindon. £8 normal entry free for new members. 07540751400.

Wroughton Dance Club, 2.15pm, Ellendune Community Centre, Wroughton. £2.75. 01793 813344. Tea dance twice a month on a Tuesday. New members welcome.

Wrestling training, 50pm, Unit 77, BSS House, Cheney Manor Industrial Estate, Swindon. £10 per session or £40 per month. 01793 574600. Professional wrestling training school in a fully equipped gym area. 01793 574600.

Coffee Morning, 10am, Broad Hinton Village Hall, Yew Tree Lane. £2. 01793 731734.

Fitsteps Class, 6pm, St Joseph’s Catholic College, Ocotal Way, Swindon. £5. 07747606501.

Highworth Artists' Society, 10.30am, Highworth Council Community Room, Highworth. Artists' Society Workshops. Two sessions held every fortnight with demonstrations. visit www.highworthartistssociety.com/

Adult Improvers Ballroom & Latin class, 8pm, St Joseph's Catholic College, Ocotal Way, Swindon. £42 for 6 week course. 07747606501. For those that have a good basic knowledge and want to develop further.

Townwomen's Guild, 2pm, Lawn Community Centre, Guildford Avenue, Swindon. 01793 521063. New members welcome at guild which meets third Tuesday of every month. Speakers, social half hour.

Tae Kwon Do, Community Centre, Savernake Street, Old Town, Swindon. 6.30pm. 01793 421970.

Learn to Jive, 7pm, St. Paul's Church Centre, St. Paul's Drive Covingham, Swindon. £6 per person. 07718036679. No partner required. Refreshments provided. No experience necessary for the beginners class. Each class is for 50 minutes with practise time afterwards. Intermediate and advanced classes also available.

Wednesday February 13

Jam night, Regent Hotel, Victoria Road, Old Town, Swindon. 8.30pm. Free. 01793 536313 Hosted by Tiffany Townsend every Wednesday.

Hot rockin' gospel, 7.30pm, St John's Church, Whitbourne Avenue, Swindon. £3. 07913816245.

Jam night Open Mic, 9.30pm, Swiss Chalet, Gorse Hill, Swindon. Free. 01793 535610.

Wacky Wednesday, 8pm, The Victoria, Old Town, Swindon. Free. 01793 535713.

U3A Guitar Wednesday, Community Centre, Savernake Street, Old Town, Swindon. Improve your guitar playing.. Every fortnight. 01793 771735

Coffee Morning, 10am, Broad Hinton Village Hall, Yew Tree Lane, Broad Hinton. £2 includes drink & cake. 01793 731734.

Ceroc dance classes, 8pm, Stratton Leisure Centre, Grange Drive, Stratton, Swindon. £7 per night. 07540 751400.

Creative Crafters, 12pm, Central Community Centre, Emlyn Square, Swindon. Free. 01793 420649.

RunJB Weekly Beginners Running Club, 7pm, West Swindon, Shaw Ridge, Swindon. £9.99 per month. 01793 778310.

Square One Singles Club, 8pm, Shield and Dagger, Thames Avenue, Swindon. £3 per month after introduction. 07759 439480.

Wrestling training, 5pm, Unit 77, BSS House Cheney Manor Industrial Estate, Swindon. £10. 01793 574600.

Salsa with Salsanativa, Coleview Community Centre, Swindon. Classes for all levels with a fun warm-up to get you started and freestyle to practice. No dance partner needed, just you and your feet! A fun way to get fit, learn a new skill and make lots of new Friends. Every Wednesday at 8.30pm. 01793 826609.

Army Reserve Meetings (REME), 7.30pm, Army Reserve Centre, Church Place, Swindon. 07557014873

English Country Dancing, 7.45pm, Wroughton Infant School, Markham Road, Wroughton, Every Wednesday. Couples or singles welcome. During school term time www.wroughtonfdc.btck.co.uk

Healthybods, 8pm, 121 Fitness, Unit 83 Basepoint, Rivermead Drive, West Swindon. £5. 07776 042690. A new lifestyle group providing practical, motivation, education and support, to help people get healthy or lose weight - simple, informative and fun. Every Wednesday.

Art Club, 11am, Artsite, The Post Modern, Theatre Square, Swindon. 07910959036. £5

Jack and Jills’ Toddlers, 9.45am, Savernake Hall, Savernake Street, Swindon. Friendly and fun toddler group run by volunteers.

Quiz Night, 8pm, The Castle, 28 Prospect Place, Old Town, Swindon. 01793 523410.

Swindon IVC Social Club, 8pm, The Runner, Wootton Bassett Road, Every Wednesday www.runninghorsepub.co.uk/ Swindon IVC was founded in 1980 and is a social club whose members organise activities for each other. These include meals, walks, sporting activities, pub/cinema/theatre trips, photography days etc.

Walking Netball, 2.30pm, Haydon Centre, Thames Avenue, Swindon. £3. 01793 423134. Slowed down version of the game of netball, designed for anyone looking to exercise in a relaxed, supportive, friendly environment and is suitable for all ages and abilitie

Woodcraft Folk, 6pm, Savernake Hall, Savernake Street, Swindon. 01793 978704. Activities and crafts for Elfins, children five to nine year olds. Every Wednesday

Step Out Swindon Haydon Health Walk, 9.45am, The Haydon Centre, Thames Avenue, Greenmeadow. Swindon. Free. 01793 727091. A one-hour brisk walk in the company of a friendly group of people in the Haydon Wick area followed by a tea and biscuits social at the Haydon Centre. Get fit and healthy and meet new friends.

Step Out Swindon Wroughton Health Walk, 10am, The Ellendune Centre, Barrett Way, Wroughton. Free. 01793 845746. One hour brisk walk or a shorter gentle walk and followed by a tea and biscuits social.