Dame extraordinaire Nick Wilton is back (oh, yes he is!) and the first glimpse of his hot-pink cropped wig, ruddy cheeks and crimped petticoat was enough to sweep us up in the festive mood. Seeing him gussied up in full Wonder Woman costume was just the cherry on top...

Needless to say the Theatre Royal's panto lacked a certain, well, gaudiness, last year without its leading 'lady', her/his signature wardrobe (malfunctions) and storied corpsing.

And boy were we glad to see Wilton reunited with partner-in-crime, inveterate jokester and, as of last year, first-time script writer Jon Monie in Beauty & the Beast – a barmy, brassy twist on the original fairy tale penned by Monie himself and awarded Best Script at the Great British Pantomime Awards 2019 to boot.

A slapstick fest with oodles of wit and quick-fire puns (the little munchkin next to us had to have quite a few quips explained to her), Monie has thrown everything at his debut – including the kitchen sink.

He and Wilton are a riot as mother-and-son duo Polly and Louis LePlonk, gamely riffing off one another and having a good old dig at anything and anyone from Boris Johnson (with a rather naughty "oven-ready" baguette baking skit) to the French in the process.

While they steal the show, the larger-than-life cast do their darnest to out-ham the pair; chief among them Ben Harlow as the narcissistic and oh-so camp Hugo Pompidou, out to make Belle his latest conquest. Strutting around like a peacock, grinning ear-to-ear like a living Colgate ad and shamelessly shoving his pert bum (in his humble opinion) into the screwed-up faces of anyone without spitting distance, he zhuzhes up the panto baddie cliché, propelling the cookie-cutter character to vainglorious new heights.

His self-adoring rendition of Bruno Mars's Just the Way You Are (or in his case Just the Way I Am) has to be one of the most cringe-worthy numbers to ever hit the stage. And a right hoot at that.

Clare Maynard twinkles as Belle while Shaun Dalton chews scenery with aplomb (sometimes literally) as the misanthropic Beast. As for Wendi Peters, she doesn't hold back (the lungs on that woman!) as the dotty fairy godmother.

A special mention must be made to the Dorothy Coleborn School of Dance's band of peppy backing dancers. The little bundles of energy shine bright, effortlessly shimmying through hectic routines like old pros – and, more often than not, drawing the eye away from the star cast.

Add to this all the usual rollicking, "He's behind you!" shenanigans and cross-Channel humour – Hugo being turned into a tight-upper-lipped Brit as punishment for his (French) arrogance is a stroke of genius – and you get the panto to end all pantos.

If you missed Wilton's crackpot frolics last year you're in for a treat!

Fresh, original and delightfully wacky, Beauty & the Beast is a Christmas corker.

Beauty & the Beast runs at the Theatre Royal Bath until Sunday, January 12, 2020.