To try and lift the spirits of the people of Swindon, we’ve scoured the internet to bring you some of our favourite jokes.

Do these make you laugh out loud, or just tut and sigh heavily ?

And if you have any jokes to add – or think you can do better – then let us know on our Facebook page or website.

Today, my son asked “Can I have a bookmark?” and I burst into tears. He's 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian.

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

Did you know the first French fries weren’t actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

Why couldn’t the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

A termite walks into a bar and asks “Is the bar tender here?”

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

What did the horse say after it tripped? “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast.

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.

What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.