I am sorry to say I have discovered I'm a Jonseser. Worse still: some people say I’m a GenJoneser.

Let me explain.

It all began with watching the latest episode of The Sky at Night.

One of the people interviewed looked young enough to be a teenager, but turned out to be a Professor of Astronomy.

So although she was talking about life on Venus, she soon had me thinking about life on earth – mine in particular – and how old I feel.

They say you are old as soon as you realise that policemen are looking young, but for me it wasn't a copper, but the doctor who delivered my son.

He looked so young that I suspected him of taking the day off school and blagging his way into the maternity unit for a laugh.

I was only 30 at the time.

And it only gets harder to come to terms with the surprisingly old-looking guy you see in the mirror.

I was still pondering this when the word ‘millennial’ came up in conversation, and I Googled it, to check exactly what that means.

Millenials are the generation that grew up around the year 2000, while others are from Generation X, Y, Z and Alpha.

So I checked to find out which generation I came from.

Most of us are familiar with the term ‘baby boomer’, which describes people like me, who were born in the 1960s or 1950s, but it turns out that not everybody from those decades is necessarily a baby boomer these days.

According to current thinking, some are from the Jones Generation.

The what?

I’m glad you ask, because I hadn’t heard it before, either.

But that’s the term now often applied to those of us who were born between 1957 and 1964, and the name is something to do with living in an era when people were generally trying to keep up with the Joneses (even if I wasn’t).

Some have decided we should therefore be called ‘Jonesers’, and in case that wasn’t ugly enough, other clever dicks have shortened it to the even more hideous ‘GenJones’.

Now hold on a minute. I didn’t even want to be one in the first place.

And when I look around at my fellow Jonesers, many of whom seem to have developed pointless prejudices that can only lead to unhappiness and a bitter end, I want to be one even less.

You can look old and feel old, but you don’t have to think old, so I'm officially done with Joneserism.

Because even if I’ve lost the battle on the outside, from now on it’s all about trying to stay young on the inside.

And it seems to me that the only way to do that is to avoid the trap of becoming bigoted and narrow-minded in your old age, especially when younger generations seem so much more rational and open-minded in comparison.

I’ve seen the scores on the doors - so you know what you can do with your stupid Generation Game.