It’s starting to look like I don’t have common sense.

Maybe I am the kind of person who is the reason they put “may contain nuts” on jars of peanut butter.

I’m always shocked by the word “may”. It had better contain nuts or you have just bought some butter.

The reason my common sense is in doubt is because our leaders have said time and again that they will rely on the common sense of the British people to enforce the COVID compliance rules.

They have also brought in a new tier system, which I am finding confusing. Am I lacking the common sense to understand them?

Firstly, it is a three tier system. I am following so far. What’s the lowest tier? It’s medium. I thought if something was medium it had to be between a bigger and a smaller thing.

If this Government were in charge of writing the Goldilocks story the first bear’s bed and porridge would have been good enough.

Having the lowest level called medium makes this feel like someone put Costa coffee in charge. We’re lucky the levels aren’t medium, large and Venti.

Let’s look at the other end of the scale. What’s the highest tier? Is it the one called high? No. High is the medium one. Of course it is. The highest is called very high.

I presume they did this to scare the living daylights out of us.

If you call the lower level “low” people might relax. Then why stop there? Call the bottom level “very high”, the medium one “really very high” and the highest one “Aaarrgh!” That’ll keep up all indoors.

Thankfully Swindon is medium and by that I mean the low medium, not the medium one that’s high.

See, it’s not just me, it’s a confusing system.

This first tier has the same rules that were in place already. They could have called it the “normal” tier but that would have been too easy.

Tier 2 has stricter rules which mean you can’t meet people indoors. Sales of outdoor heaters have already gone up 400 per cent, so we know what Greta will be complaining about next year.

Under tier 2 rules people in relationships who don’t live together can’t meet up to get intimate indoors.

They may head outdoors but it’s getting cold. So if you have recently purchased an outdoor heater you may have to wave off more than moths.

The new rules are meant to be easier to understand but it feels like we’ll have to look up information on a chart before we leave the house.

Does that seem like common sense to you?