The last thing I would want to do is talk you into moving away from the area. I don’t want to lose any readers of this column. But there is a place on the market that I’d like to draw your attention to.

If you were willing to move to Devon, where you’d have to spend a fair chunk of your time being upset about cream teas, you could buy an interesting property.

For £435,000, which is probably the average selling price of a parking space in London, you could get a unique 56-bedroom place. That is a lot of bedrooms. You could have guests over, have a gym room, a reading room and still not feel guilty about having a man-cave.

With that many bedrooms my next question would be how many bathrooms does it have. If there are only a few you’d have to be careful not to cook spicy food.

If you’d rather ask about the views, I have some bad news. This is a two-storey underground bunker. The estate agents would probably call that view “limited”.

It was built in 1941 in a Second World War radar station and refitted later to be a place to hide in case the Soviets attacked. It seems the likelihood of that attack has dropped off barbecue it’s up for sale.

The year of lockdown has made me wish I could afford to buy that place. I know it may feel a little dark down there but imagine how reassured you’d feel if you knew you had your own bunker to run to.

There are 56 bedrooms. You could use 50 of those to store toilet roll in and you’d still have plenty of space to sleep. The phone reception can’t be great so you’d have a break from social media too.

It was designed to let you live in isolation for 35 days, which is nowhere near as long as the lockdowns but it would help.

I’d imagine it’s unlikely you’d be able to hear the neighbours. I don’t mind hearing things but I have had many relationships where my partner would suddenly sit up and say, “Shush. Can you hear that? Turn off the TV? Can you hear it now? Stop the central heating so there’s no hum. Unplug the fridge? Do you hear that? The neighbours and making a racket.”

Not everyone wants to live in it during a lockdown. They have apparently had a lot of interest in the property with some buyers saying they would use it to stop wine or cheese.

To be fair, that was what I’d put in it ready for the next lockdown too.