Who had “Matt Hancock” and “affair” in the sweepstake? Well done.

My money was on vaccine minister Nadhim Zahawi catching Smallpox or Priti Patel calculating the efficacy of the AstraZeneca jab as 1200 per cent.

There are many questions left unanswered about the relationship between Matt and Gina Coladangelo, most of which are none of our business, but if you have your tryst during work hours on taxpayers’ money you have to expect us to be a little nosy.

We know they met at university on the student radio station. She read the news and he did the sport.

That’s all I need, someone who has radio experience and is now looking for work. I have enough people to compete with for work already.

Part of this story has been entertaining to watch, like seeing if Boris Johnson would sack Matt.

How do I put this nicely? Boris Johnson sacking someone for having an affair would be like Theresa May sacking someone for having an annoying cough.

That part was resolved when Matt resigned.

We are still left with some facts that are rather annoying. I have never been the Secretary of State for Health and I certainly haven't held that position during a global pandemic but I would presume you’d be rather busy at work during all that.

How did he find the time to sneak into a room for a kiss and a cuddle?

Also, if anyone should have known that you weren’t allowed to get that close to someone who isn’t in your bubble it’s the man who made those rules.

Sometimes I walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. I have never walked into a room and forgotten the lockdown laws I have just introduced to the nation.

I hope he used protection. I also hope that protection wasn’t stuck on a plane in Turkey when it was needed.

I know I am being glib about a situation that has impacted a lot of people.

I feel terrible sorry for Matt’s wife and Gina’s husband. He’s the founder of Oliver Bonas.

If your wife runs off with someone richer and better looking it’s one thing, but how can he process this?

I also feel sorry for people like me. I couldn’t hug my father at my mum’s funeral because of the lockdown yet Matt was sneaking up to a CCTV camera to awkwardly grab her derrière.

Honestly, it would be slightly less upsetting if he didn’t look like he was trying to lift it up while someone vacuumed under it.

With bad judgement like that he has brought the ridicule on himself.