THERE’S never a dull moment at Swindon Town is there?
That's what we tend to say most of the time. Just when you think things are running smoothly, something comes along to set the liquid in the tea cup trembling.
So in another week when things have got a little tetchy, I thought I'd look at a season so desperately dull even Victor Meldrew would sit placidly in his North Stand seat. If he had one that is.
Division Four, as it was properly known then, and 17th place. Now that is a season worth remembering (or not). An average home attendance of just over 3,000 and an average away gate of just under that figure. A total of 58 points and no real danger of going out of the league at either end. It's a story of a club going nowhere, a healthy enough home record of eleven wins and seven draws, while on the road four victories and six other games where the Town avoided defeat.
Even the League Cup failed to ignite any real excitement with a 4-2 aggregate loss to Plymouth Argyle in the first round. To be fair pulses were set briefly racing by reaching the fourth round of the FA Cup. Kettering, Millwall and Carlisle were dispatched before Blackburn ended that glory trail 2-1 at the County Ground. I know, exciting isn't it? Bet you wish we had another one like that don't you?
In the league the highlight was a 4-0 win over Chester in early September, otherwise the goals didn't flow and the football bumped along. You see boring isn't always good. Maybe less stormy would be better.
The season? 1983/84. Ken Beamish in charge of a club with no money and no real prospects. At the end of the season a new sponsor came in and Lou Macari was appointed. Boring was never used again.