Counsellor Fiona Caine tackles your dilemmas

WILL HE REALLY CHANGE?

After being in prison for the past two years, my boyfriend is shortly due for release. I love him so much and can’t wait for us to be together but my parents want me to have nothing to do with him – they’ve said that I should either dump him or leave home. He’s promised me he has changed and I believe him, but my parents won’t even give him a chance. SC

Fiona says

While I am all for giving ex-offenders a fair chance, I can understand your parents’ concerns. I suspect they need to be convinced by him and will want him to prove himself before they feel comfortable. Perhaps you’re rushing things and you should allow time for everyone to get to know this man better. If he’s been away from you for two years, he is bound to have changed and you will need to get to know him again too. He needs to show that not only is he a kind, caring and loving person but also that he’s determined not to re-offend. You will only win your parents round when they’re confident you're not going to be hurt by him, so take things slowly both for your sake and theirs.

I IMAGINE THE WORST

Every time there’s a hiccup in my – or my loved ones’ – routines, I get into a complete state of panic. My kids are teenagers now but if they’re 10 minutes late home from school, I start fantasising about all manner or horrors from traffic accidents to abduction. Why do I panic like this about everything? LH

Fiona says

We all know, rationally, that worrying doesn’t solve anything. If anything, it makes things worse by paralysing our thinking. Emotions are seldom driven by logic though, and your anxiety attacks are probably outside your control unless you get help for them. I’d suggest you go to the website anxietyuk.org.uk.