Counsellor Fiona Caine tackles your dilemmas

Last year my husband left me for a woman 25 years younger than him.

I was shocked and angry enough, but what made it worse was, three years before, she’d been engaged to our son – she dumped him when he wouldn’t agree to buy the house she wanted but which they couldn’t possibly afford.

My self-respect took a nosedive and I’d just begun to claw it back when, last week, I got a call from my husband saying this woman had dumped him, too!

He said he realised he’d made a mistake and wondered if there was a chance we could get back together again. I still love him. Do you think it’s worth trying again? PS

Fiona says

It takes time to restore trust and it can be painful. You need to know how he really feels about you. If it’s simply a case that he doesn’t like being alone, then I think you should hang on to the self-respect you’ve gained and say ‘no’. If he is genuinely sorry and prepared to work at putting things right - and if you do still love him - then it’s worth trying. Try speaking to Relate.

I’ve fallen for his workmate

My husband is in business with two other guys, one of whom joined the company two years ago.

He’s married too, but I’ve fallen head over heels in love with him. I’ve done everything I can to let him know how I feel and I think he likes me too. We speak on the phone a lot and the next time my husband is away on business, we’re going to have lunch. I’d never sleep with him as I do not want to hurt my husband and he’s told me he will never leave his wife. All I want to do is be with him; do you think there’s a chance for us? EJ

Fiona says...

Frankly, no. Please drag your nose out of whatever romantic fiction you are currently reading and wake up to the fact that this is real life. You are being terribly naive: if you’re not planning to sleep with him, what are you proposing to do – gaze dreamily into one another’s eyes?

How long do you think you or he will be satisfied with that for? You are messing with the happiness of two families, plus their financial security, as I doubt the business partnership could withstand such deceit. You’re a grown woman, so if you don’t want to hurt a great many people, call a halt to this right now.