“O Botox, O Botox, I’m ever so keen,

To look as I looked at the age of sixteen.

Induce paralysis, do as I ask,

Give me, O give me, a face like a mask.”

Over the past 40 years, poet and entertainer Pam Ayres has tickled the nation’s funny bone penning tongue-in-cheek gems on anything from plastic surgery to everyday life - and the absurdity therein. And she is preparing to delight audiences with some of her most famous rhymes and hair-trigger timing at the Wyvern Theatre.

Pam Ayres is the author of several best-selling poetry collections, including The Works, With These Hands, Surgically Enhanced and You Made Me Late Again! Many of her poems feature in school textbooks around the world including the UK, USA, China, Australia, New Zealand, Holland, South Africa, Ireland and Singapore. She is one of the few authors to have had books in the Sunday Times bestseller charts in almost every decade since the 1970s.

In 2015, the most borrowed poetry book in UK Libraries was Pam’s You Made Me Late Again.

Pam is no elusive writer, living in seclusion huddled behind a laptop. The humourist likes a bit of off-the-cuff banter too.

She is a regular broadcaster on Radio 4 and recorded five series her own programme, Ayres on the Air. She has toured the UK, Australia and New Zealand regularly over the past four decades, and she is one of the few solo comediennes to have performed in the Concert Hall of the Sydney Opera House.

She has appeared on many TV programme including The One Show, QI, Countdown, and Alan Titchmarsh.

Pam Ayres will be at the Wyvern Theatre on Monday and Tuesday at 7.30pm. Tickets are £27.50. To book go to swindontheatres.co.uk or call 01793 524481.