IF YOU’VE ever watched the cult TV hit Man Vs Food you will have felt the urge to take on one of its gargantuan gastronomic challenges.

So when the chance to try a quintessentially English version landed in my lap I had to give it a go.

The Cafe, in Devizes Road, Old Town, has just reopened under new management and among the more standard fare is listed the behemoth known only as Mega Breakfast.

It contains, among other things, three sausages, three rashers of bacon, two eggs, hash browns and chips, which on their own would be enough to keep hunger at bay for the rest of the day.

To put it into context the Mega Breakfast contains a whopping 1,800 calories – just a Mars Bar shy of the recommended daily allowance for an average woman.

But it is only half the size, in calorific terms, of 18-time Olympic gold medallist swimmer Michael Phelps’ first meal of the day while he was training for Beijing 2008.

So it should be easy, right?

In truth, I underestimated this challenge. I thought it sounded manageable and that it would take at most little more than half-an-hour to dispatch.

I was wrong and my eyes were bigger than my stomach... until I saw the plate.

When they brought it to the table I realised the scale of the food mountain I had to climb – fried meat upon fried potato upon meat and yet more potato, all served on Goliath’s teaplate.

It took me a whole hour to finish and while I had keenly attacked my favourites – the sausages, bacon, eggs – I had neglected the items that I usually ask to be held, such as the beans, black pudding and tomatoes.

This meant they were cold and, as any student who has had to resort to eating cold beans knows, this was not a pleasant experience. Only the cheery disposition of the cafe staff kept me going to the stodgy end.

Still, looking on the bright side, this challenge could be the first step on my path to Olympic glory. And judging by Phelps’ track record I could strike gold.

l Do you know of a food mountain Scott should climb? Maybe your restaurant serves up a mammoth of a burger or your cafe has the biggest ice cream sundae in Swindon. We want to hear from you and get Scott to tackle the dish. Contact the newsdesk on newsdesk@swindonadvertiser.

co.uk or call 01793 501806.

l Bang on the money – Page 20