Counsellor Fiona Caine tackles your dilemmas

Q MY husband of nine years is very antisocial and is quite content to get through his life with as few friends as possible.

I have tried to explain to him that it’s unhealthy to live this way, but he will not be budged.

He has even suggested that we look to move to the depths of the countryside, far away from everyone. I don’t make friends easily, but the few I do have, I value immensely and the last thing I want is to move away from them and lose touch.

I do love my husband, but this is causing problems for us and, frankly, I’m bored without a social life! I.G.

Fiona says: Has your husband always been so antisocial? If he has, does he realise how deeply you feel about it? All marriages involve compromise, but if your husband expects you to move when you clearly don’t want to, then he is being thoughtless. Or perhaps he really doesn’t know how you feel, in which case you will have to be a lot more forceful so he understands your unhappiness. I hope the two of you can work out a compromise that will give you both what you want. Your life does not have to follow the same path as his though, so perhaps you can both accept that if he will not join you, you will have to socialise without him. Just be careful that your lives don’t completely separate.

Q MY grandson is a real little monster and my daughter is struggling to cope. I know how difficult children can be, but he takes the biscuit — throwing things, hitting people, shouting all the time and he’s so aggressive. I do love my daughter and all her children, but I have to confess to dreading their visits. Should I say something? I daren’t offer my help as I just couldn’t cope with him, but I know she’s got more than enough on her plate right now and I hesitate to add to her worries. F.R.

Fiona says: Your daughter will probably be fully aware of just how difficult her son is, but doesn’t know how to deal with him any more than you do. His behaviour could be perfectly normal or it could indicate some other problems, so I would encourage her to seek help.

You do not say what other worries your daughter has to deal with at the moment, but she may well be distracted by these concerns and so at a loss as to how to control him.

I am sure you won’t be adding to her worries if you suggest she speaks to Parentline Plus (parentlineplus.org.uk) or to her GP - and I do strongly suggest the GP option as the behaviour problems might be linked to a number of health conditions.