JUST picture Eurovision’s grooviest flares and dubious mullets, Top of the Pop’s wackiest hairography and popping hip thrusts in the cheesiest battle of the bands in living memory.

Well stop imagining and start genuflecting, for the retro-tastic Solid Gold 70s Show is Swindon-bound.

Reviving the golden age of pop, the new touring show features a versatile cast in a raft of guises and a head-spinning repertoire of glam rock chart-toppers, disco hits, power ballads and party anthems from the likes of Sweet, T Rex, Queen, Elton John, 10CC, David Essex, Suzi Quatro and David Cassidy.

ELO, The Carpenters, Osmonds, Bay City Rollers, ABBA and their camp contemporaries also share the bill – through their timeless words.

“It’s probably the kitschest show on tour,” sums up producer Gary Mac. “It’s about glam and tongue-in-cheek. It is an era people look back on fondly. There was a sort of one-upmanship everybody was trying to outglam the previous act and the music was fun.”

Backed by a band whose members have played with Mike Oldfield, Asia and Ultravox, the production boasts an impressive musical pedigree.

While one would assume capturing icons’ electrifying stage presence, unparalleled vocals and mannerisms would be the production’s biggest challenge, it was nothing compared to the Herculean task of sourcing authentically flamboyant costumes. As elusive as the mythical Loch Ness Monster (but with a lot more conclusive photographic evidence), towering platform boots are rarer commodities than Tiffany diamonds.

“You can’t imagine how difficult they are to find now,” chuckles Gary. “It has been an issue so some of the outfits are custom made for the show and the others are imported from overseas. It’s very well sounding like the artists but you have to look the part.”

Embracing the 70s ‘any-goes’ spirit - and its blissful flouting of social, fashion and sexual conventions - the show is still relevant for modern audiences.

“I remember watching Top of the Pops as a teenager. The men wore make-up. Sweet would come on, Brian Connolly with this long blond hair and my dad would go ‘Is this a boy or a girl?’ People were not afraid to express themselves. They were open, finding out about their sexuality. They could be more ambiguous.

“Some of the acts are still knocking around but many of them don’t perform anymore so the show is a nostalgic trip. It’s basically a two-hour Top of the Pops for the older generation.”

And if the rest of the UK is anything to go by, Gary is expecting Swindon spectators to give as good as they get in both style and histrionics departments.

“The audience are madder than a box of frogs. They play air guitar, come dressed as Freddie Mercury, they dance, they stomp to the music. The audience are very much the stars of the show and they are encouraged to get involved. It’s not a show for wall flowers. You can tell they don’t want to go home at the end. That’s our reward.”

Prancing around in platform boots is optional but disco pointing is a must.

Solid Gold 70s Show is on at the Wyvern Theatre on Thursday, October 8 at 7.30pm. Tickets are £23. To book go to swindontheatres.co.uk or call 01793 524 481.

— MARION SAUVEBOIS