MARION SAUVEBOIS has a chat with the foster carer whose life was completely changed when fate brought Jamie into her home, finding out about the highs and lows that come with foster life

“HE really likes honey sandwiches at the moment,” coos Julie Bremner, disappearing into the kitchen before returning with a plate stacked with two neat triangles.

Fussing over her ‘little boy’ like so many mothers at that very moment across the nation, she pushes a drink in front of him and watches tenderly as he takes a ravenous bite of his dinner. Satisfied, she allows herself to slop in an armchair, nearby occasionally peeking in the direction of the dining room.

But Julie is not Jamie’s mother, she is his Home & Away foster carer.

Three years ago, before Hurricane Jamie wreaked blissful havoc into her quiet existence, there was little to suggest her life would be filled with honey sandwiches, screenings of The Minions movie (on a loop) and playing goalie for hours on end to a keen young footballer.

“It’s a new life,” beams the 54-year-old from Liden. “I’m a lot happier now though it can be quite tiring,” she says, before going over their packed schedule of one-on-one football drills, swimming jaunts, trips to the park and to her relief, the odd excursion to the cinema to recuperate.

Like most life-altering events, her decision to become a foster carer was impulsive and rather unexpected. Yet, looking back, Julie firmly believes fate played a heavy hand in placing Jamie in her path.

She had spotted a large poster appealing for Swindonians to open their homes to children in need on the back of a bus. And for a while she made nothing of it. Until, on a day like any other in 2012 and for no apparent reason she heeded its call and reached out to the Fostering Services.

“I honestly don’t know why I did it,” she admits. “I had seen an ad on the back of a bus and then in Liden’s handy mag. I have three bedrooms. I thought that’s something I could offer a child and I thought I could get something out of it too.”

A few weeks later, she was ushered into in a room along with fellow Samaritans for a thorough seminar on fostering children with disabilities.

Undaunted by the prospect of caring for a youngster with special needs, she listened attentively as support workers reviewed difficult scenarios and drilled into her health and safety procedures. Over the following months, she plodded on working away at the mounds of paperwork gathering in her living room and diligently answering social services’ probing questions about her family background, habits, relationships and childhood.

“I think you can cope with anything if you want to,” she adds softly, but with unmistakable grit.

“I was never scared of disability. There are things all of us can or can’t do. I think we’re all the same and we are all disabled in some way. These parents have had to deal with having a disabled child – they coped with what life threw at them. I just wanted to help.”

Reality and apprehension did set in when she finally received the fateful call from social services in June 2013: she had been matched with Jamie Greenwood, a seven-year-old boy with autism and a mild speech impediment.

Home & Away carers offer short breaks for children with disabilities and learning difficulties and their families. Jamie spends two days a month with Julie. This provides respite for his mother Hazel and allows her to enjoy quality time with his older sister Megan.

“I remember when I first met him, I was having tea with his mum and he came back from school and walked straight past me up the stairs,” she recalls blithely. “I was really nervous the first time he stayed over. You second guess everything at the start. I stayed awake, listening in case he didn’t go to sleep. But his mum Hazel was very supportive and I could always text her if I had questions.”

A strong friendship soon blossomed between the pair but for months Julie walked on eggshells, bracing herself for the looming first tantrum, which never actually manifested – not at the very least the almighty histrionics she had so dreaded. Jamie, it soon emerged, is easily appeased by a rational and well argued case.

“I remember making sure everything was just right,” she adds with a warm laugh. “I was cautious all the time. I was waiting for a tantrum. One night he didn’t have his onesie and he had a bit of a tantrum. It wasn’t half as bad as I expected. I thought, ‘Is that it?’ I told him there was nothing we could do about it now. I let him calm himself down for ten minutes and then I said ‘Are you going to come down and watch a film – we’ll have popcorn.’ He did.

“He’s good as gold really. Last year things got a bit more relaxed and we have bonded more. He is cuddlier and he gets excited about staying over. I think it’s probably like a second home to him. He is quite laidback in a way and quite funny. Our personalities match in that way. He is always happy and cheerful.

“There will be the odd moment, like when he didn’t have his onesie or if we’re queueing – he hates doing that. I talk him through it and explain how we can’t avoid it, and although he still doesn’t like it, it soon passes and he is fine again.”

Prompted by her foster caring turn, when Julie was made redundant from the now defunct Biomet factory in February 2014, she reinvented herself as a teaching assistant at Bridlewood Primary School. She has now also added council children services employee to her growing curriculum vitae. “I couldn’t imagine going back to the factory. Having Jamie has helped with every area of my work.

“I never thought I would have a career change at this stage in my life. But being made redundant has opened up a whole new world for me. I love working with children – it’s so fulfilling and enjoyable because we genuinely do learn from each other and it’s mutually rewarding.”

In her personal life too, Jamie awakened a maternal instinct and fierce sense of devotion she never suspected.

“I am very close to my nephew and niece but I didn’t think I was that maternal before I had Jamie,” she muses. “After 25 years of working in a factory, I walked out without missing it at all. But I know it will be a very different story when Jamie grows up. Hopefully we’ll stay in touch and who knows, I might also go on to help other children too.”

These wistful thoughts are swiftly brushed away as Jamie calls his indulgent goalie to the garden for another action-packed derby.

FACTFILE

 There are 150 foster households in the borough.

  •  Another 40 are needed to meet demand, which can change at short notice. 
  •  Fostering opportunities are available on short and long-term placements.
  •  Carers receive an allowance and ongoing training, along with 24/7 support.
  •  To find out more about fostering visit www.fosteringadoptionswindon.org.uk or call 01793 465700.