Our Doctor Bestwick
Well, he’s a nice bloke
Seems quite concerned
That I still smoke
But he doesn’t make it
An issue
That I roll my tobacco
In a man-sized tissue
And he is never glum
When I discard my
Nicotine gum.

Some time ago, he gave me
Nicotine patches
I couldn’t light them
I used a whole box
Of matches
So I just keep on puffing
Cough and splutter
But at nearly eighty
Does it really matter?