I resent my husband

I’ve lost the ‘spark’ I used to feel for my husband, even though I still love him and want to be with him. I feel a growing resentment for him, and it’s causing a wedge between us - even though he’s oblivious.

We had twins together four and a half years ago and, for the first two years, it was really hard because one of them suffered with health issues. I rarely got any sleep and I had no help from my family, even though I was struggling with two babies and a young son.

My husband works six days a week, but we still do family days on Sunday, which I should be grateful for, but I still have this lull in my stomach. - BD

Fiona says: You say you resent your husband, but you also say you didn’t get any help from your family when you needed it. I wonder if you’re directing your resentment the wrong way? It sounds like your husband is aware of how difficult life is for you - he’s working hard to support you and three small children, and still manages to find time for family days.

Life is hard for you and, with a young family, you don’t have a lot of time for yourself. Perhaps your resentment is really about that. Things can only improve if you talk to one another. You say you still love him so please don’t let this love go to waste.

Why can't he cancel?

For the last few months I’ve been going out with a really nice guy and we’ve grown very close, very quickly. I’ve been looking forward to spending more time with him so I was really upset when he told me about his plans for his summer holiday - which didn’t include me.

I tried to hide how hurt I was, but he must have guessed because he apologised. He said he hadn’t expected to be in such a serious relationship when he booked this holiday last year, but that this trip means a lot to him because it’s the first time he has ever been whale watching. - RT

Fiona says: I think you’re overreacting here. He hasn’t said anything about not seeing you when he gets back, nor has he tried to hide the holiday. Why do you find it so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt?