I WAS glad to learn that Swindon is taking part in the Beat the Street scheme -beatthestreet.me/swindon - in which an app encourages us to do more walking.

Participants can keep up to date with their progress by tapping little cards on contactless waypoints here and there.

As somebody who’s never going to be accused of being a bit on the skinny side, I plan to take part and hope thousands of others do, too.

Having said that, I don’t understand why the council went with Beat the Street instead of following my somewhat cheaper suggestion of having a fairly fit person push a cake trolley at a brisk pace up and down main roads all day, like some sort of Pied Piper of Hamelin but with eclairs and Black Forest Gateau instead of a flute.

Apparently this would have caused traffic problems and a general risk to public safety, but I think the council were just being spoilsports.

They also rejected another of my suggestions, which was inspired by the lack of public lavvies. Did you know we had 18 in 2000 but are down to just half a dozen today?

Anyway, my idea was for a weight loss scheme involving setting up refreshment stations with tea, coffee, soft drinks, TV screens showing taps being turned on and off and a looped recording of the song from Bambi that goes: “Drip, drip drop little April Showers.”

Then, instead of having somebody pull a cake trolley up and down the street, we’d have them tow a portable toilet.

I was cruelly rejected - as are most visionary thinkers.

I only hope something can be done about the lack of public conveniences, though.

With most phone boxes gone, it’s not as though there are alternatives...