I began a trial separation from my husband three months ago. We agreed that it was for the best, as we had been drifting apart for some time. We both have busy jobs and our downtime was usually spent with other people, as we have almost no interests in common.

Any time that we did spend together usually triggered bickering or outright arguments, so he moved back in with his sister who has a house nearby and I stayed on in our flat. We seem to be getting along better now and usually have a coffee or meal together most days, and we've also slept together occasionally. I realise that I miss him and I think I want us to get back together again. When I mentioned this to him, I was shocked that he didn't want to try a reconciliation. I'm worried that, no matter what I do, our marriage really is over.

I know you are worried by this development, but I think it's too soon to assume that your marriage is over. In a sense, you haven't really had a trial separation. You may have spent a little less time together, but you did continue to meet up most days and presumably have sex occasionally. How is this significantly different to when you were together? Perhaps the better approach is keeping your distance for a while, and certainly avoid having regular sex with him. Some guidance from a Relate counsellor (relate.org.uk) would help. You can then talk this through with your husband or, better yet, get him to attend some sessions with you.

I'm worried that my father is an alcoholic. When I visited last week for a few days, I was shocked to see him drinking large glasses of whisky at odd times of day - I even found him swigging straight from a bottle in the garden. I can't be certain, but I think he must have tucked away at least half a bottle a day. When I finally confronted him over breakfast on my last morning, I said I thought he had a drink problem. However, he shrugged it off saying that he's simply stressed at work and needs to unwind at home. When I pressed him again, he got angry. I tried to share my concerns with my mum, just as I was leaving, but she simply changed the subject. I'm now back at home and probably won't see them again for a few months. Am I right to be so worried?

Quite possibly, as people with drink problems typically refuse to accept that they have a problem and often get angry when pressed to confront the issue. Unfortunately, they can carry on like this for many years. This is going to be difficult for you, but all you can really do is continue to talk with your father as often as you can and try to get him to accept that there is a problem and seek help from Alcoholics Anonymous (alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk).