Swindon mum upset as council put notice on baby's headstone

Elizabeth Shurety and partner Adam of Penhill lost their stillborn son Aaron in September 2022 and had a funeral in October.

The family were dealt with more heartbreak in March as Adam’s great nephew Damien died at the age of two years old.

Adam’s sister paid over £200 for temporary headstones in Kingsdown Crematorium for both boys, but the family were distressed to find council notes on both graves soon after.

Amari with Aaron's temporary headstone in Swindon. (Image: Elizabeth Shurety)

Swindon Borough Council claim that the mum signed off knowing about this as well as what items can be left near the grave - but the 37-year-old claims that she was not aware as she was grieving and under anaesthetic.

“The headstones were up for two weeks before there was a note on the back of the headstones to remove them from Kingsdown Crematorium,” said Elizabeth.

“It was a temporary measure until we could buy a permanent headstone and we wanted to have it for a year as the headstone we wanted would be around £2,500.

“I felt angry and upset when I saw the notice slapped on the temporary headstone as it is insensitive.

Elizabeth and Adam lost their son Aaron in September 2022. (Image: Elizabeth Shurety)

“It feels like I am signing Aaron over to the council as even though I feel like I own the plot in which he is buried, I do not.

“That is horrific and I wish I had him cremated as I would rather he was with me than be in a place where I can’t do his bed up.

“It feels like I have to forget about him.”

Aaron’s twin sister Amari survived after she was put in special care after being born premature by ten weeks.

“We are already dealing with a lot and we still haven’t come to terms with losing Aaron, we wanted a burial so that we could all go and visit him,” said Elizabeth.

“It’s been a whirlwind couple of months as we are trying to celebrate the life we have created as well with Amari.

The council removal notice was attached to Aaron's grave in Kingsdown Crematorium. (Image: Elizabeth Shurety)

“The headstones are now in our garden which has upset as we don’t really want it there but I am struggling to get rid of it as it is just too emotional.”

The family claim that they have been told that they cannot put any decorations around the grave bar flowers which must be seasonal.

“We wanted to put a balloon on and a little Christmas tree which is stopping us from keeping him alive in our memory,” said Elizabeth.

“I was under aesthetic and didn’t know what I was signing. It wasn’t until eight months later that the crematorium actually sat us down and explained the rules of the plot.”

A Swindon Borough Council spokesman said: “We completely understand why Ms Shurety is upset about having to change the headstone for her son’s grave.

“Although we do make it very clear to next of kin and relatives about the regulations in our cemeteries, we fully appreciate that at the time they sign the document it is a very upsetting time.

Elizabeth claims that she did not know what she was signing as she was grieving and under anaesthetic. (Image: Elizabeth Shurety)

“Usually, our local funeral directors and stonemasons will liaise with the family to ensure the regulations are followed.

“In fact, prior to any headstones or memorials being erected, the stonemason or memorial company is required to submit details of what has been agreed with the family.

“If the memorial is not of the correct size or made with the correct materials we can then advise this is the case. Unfortunately, this did not happen on this occasion.

“We pride ourselves on dealing with these situations sensitively and we will work with Ms Shurety to ensure a suitable headstone can be placed on her son’s grave.”