It’s been a week of celebrations, starting with Saturday which as everybody knows was the 39th anniversary of Swindon Town’s historic 3-1 triumph over Arsenal at Wembley in the 1969 League Cup. One goal by Roger Smart and a brace by the legendary Donaldo in extra time were enough to sink the mighty Gunners.

I have a vague memory of being there at the game and still have the ticket stub as proof: turnstile E, entrance 85, row 14, seat 16, price 45 shillings. But what I’m unsure about is how the Letters family ever made it to Wembley in those pre-M4 days. I’m pretty sure we didn’t go by train or canal so I guess we must have taken the stagecoach from the Goddard Arms.

Come to think of it, I do have a hazy recollection of changing horses at a picturesque village in rural Middlesex named Heston and then being accosted by a bunch of highwaymen (the legendary Robbin’ Hoodies) on the North Circular just before Willesden.

The second celebration this week was St Patrick’s Day and that is a Big Deal in the US. The shops were flogging cabbage, corned beef and Guinness. One supermarket was offering a FREE CABBAGE WITH ANY FRESH CORNED BEEF PURCHASE. Bars served up cabbage, corned beef, shepherd’s pie, Guinness and green-coloured lager.

Some people call it St Patty’s Day, wear green outfits to work and help their kids construct leprechaun traps. I'm telling you, things have got seriously out of hand and I am hoping that the new president will be able to restore some order and sanity in this area.

While out shopping this morning for cut-price leftover cabbage and corned beef, I bought a packet of Trader Joe’s Pita Chips ("baked pita chips with nothing but sea salt") and notice that they are advertised as containing 50% less fat than potato chips. I also notice that they are currently on sale at 2 for the price of 1.

So you feel good because you have bought a healthy product. You can eat twice as many for the same price. And you only put on the same amount of weight as you would have done if you had eaten one normal packet of chips.