New rules could see the end of single-use plastic plates, forks and knives and I say good riddance.

The Government plans to restrict the use of such plastics from takeaways, restaurants and cafes to help combat the issue of plastic pollution in our seas.

I don’t want to see an episode of Blue Planet where Sir David Attenborough has to tell us there’s a lesser-spotted Cadbury’s Time Out wrapper making its way across the screen.

But it’s not just an eco issue.

Even if you don’t want to save the planet, if you don’t like Greta and her mean email addresses, you should like this plan.

Plastic cutlery has always been useless.

It’s often the case that the food you are trying to cut is actually harder than the plastic knife you are trying to use.

There’s a chance that’s because I go to the kind of cafe that sells food that was made three days ago but the plastic knife wasn’t helping.

The plastic fork is no better.

There’s a 50-50 chance you won’t drive your tines into the food but instead one would snap off and launch across the room at great speed.

To eat with a plastic fork you should wear safety goggles but that means using even more plastic.

Trying to use plastic cutlery feels like you have been given children's safety scissors.

In the plastic realm the selection of cutlery doesn’t stop at the standard options.

The spork is even worse.

If you don’t know, it’s a cross between a spoon and fork.

The problem is a spoon has to be able to hold a liquid whereas a fork as holes between the prongs.

Some sporks also have a sharpened edge that acts like a know.

Someone invented the hybrid of a spoon, that you can put in your mouth, where one edge is serrated and sharp like a knife.

You might as well combine barbed wire and chewing gum.

The plastic plate, however, is actually better than a pottery one as it survives longer at a Greek wedding.

When the ban comes in we won’t be able to get the plastic cutlery and bowls when we get takeaway food.

What will we do?

When the ban on carrier bags came in we had to start carrying our bags for life.

Is the presumption that we will travel will a set of cutlery and crockery in case a meal breaks out?

Is that how we will cope in a world without plastic knives and forks?

I already do that but if everyone else starts doing it at least it won’t make me look so greedy.